Grandpa Ford and "Sylvia"

This is a picture of Grandpa Ford (my mother's father) and his second wife Sylvia. Keep in mind that my Grandma Phyllis died years before I was even born. The story goes that on her death bed she asked Grandpa to never marry again. She was about 48ish? Well, Aunt Beverly had a friend in college that had a single mother. They got their respective parent together and the rest his history. The Alvey's merged with the Ford's.

Here's the buggy thing: 3 of the sisters never allowed/encouraged their kids to call her Grandma. (Bev's kids were in tight with her. ) Was it because of the "promise" made or was it that they secrectly didn't care for her? Grandpa was happy and had a companion to care for and love him. She had her quirks...don't we all. At times I often am a bit bugged that we always called her Sylvia. In hind sight I think it built a barrier between us. Did it hurt her feelings? Was it percieved as a reflection of our parent's issues? Don't we want to have as many people love and care for our children? Who cares if they are blood or not? Why pass on our generational differences to the next generation? By calling her Sylvia or Silver Bells, I think it was a bit disrespectful and sad. This may have kept her a bit stand-offish with us too, thinking she wasn't accepted.

Don't get me wrong...the sisters were very kind and loving towards her...but she just wasn't their mother. On the flip side, her (Sylvia) grandchildren called Grandpa Ford just that. They have a great love and many memories of "grandpa stuff" with him. I just have memories of her talking about her kids and a book from Frost's Bookstore. There wasn't that grandma bond thing. Oh well, random thoughts, hind sight, and unanswered questions.

P.S. It is like Sigrid's Grandma Larsen...she has never wanted to be called grandma...just call her Ellen. I have always struggled with kids calling their grandparent by their first name! When I was around the family I encouraged them to at least call her Grandma Ellen. But as we know that was only for eight of Sigrid's years. To me it is so disrespectful and they, both grandparent and grandchild, are missing out on an honorable name that endears and shows love.